Tired!

Today I had to work all day.  It was a looooooonnnnnnnngggggg day, but I like my job.  Just recently I reduced my hours from full time to part time.  I also transfered from one branch to another.  This has allowed me to be home more with my children, and I think will work well for going through this surrogacy journey.  I'm the type of person who can't not work or being doing something to further challenge myself.  I recently just completed my bachelor's degree and am itching because I feel like I am forgetting to do something for school!  I'm 27 and have never not been in school until now!  I will be starting my Master's degree program in Sept. but for now I feel a little lost. Like do I just go to work and come home and have absolutely nothing to do for school????  It is weird to me. 
I feel empowered by taking the journey into surrogacy.  The IPs I am working with are such wonderful people. They have battled infertility for a long time and are a truely amazing couple.  I can't wait to help them make their dreams come true!  There really is no greater feeling in the world then holding your child for the first time.  I remember when Grayson was born.  Mike and i were so young and so nervous.  He came out and the nurses took him across the room to be cleaned off and suctioned.  Mike followed so I was a little calmer, but all I wanted was to see this thing that I had carried for nine months... this thing that was supposed to change my life forever.  Mike got to pick Grayson up first.  He brought Grayson over to me, all bundled up, and I finally got to hold my firstborn.  Holding him, and looking at his big eyes, I realized what unconditional love was.  I mean there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for my children.  In that moment I thought to myself this child will never cross the street alone, he'll never drive a car by himself, I will never let him out of my sight!!!  My love was just so intense.  I didn't want anything to happen to him.  As we approach Grayson's 7th birthday, and have two other children, I am a little less overprotective.   (Grayson still tells me to leave him alone)  I guess my whole point on the matter is, I want to give someone else this experience.  I want them to have this over consuming love, and I can't wait to make it happen for them.

Beginning our Journey

So many people ask me about why I decided to be a surrogate.  The answer really is simple.  I'm a mother who loves her children and wants to help another family have that same feeling.  I'm not a baby seller or some crazy woman with a pregnancy fetish.  I really just want to help.  People want to talk about money.  Well yeah there is money involved, but that is for the pain and suffering my body goes through due to taking meds and going through pregnancy.  It takes a toll on my body and my family.
I've found most people don't really understand surrogacy.  There are two different types and many different routes that surros take.  I will discuss the type of surrogate I am first.  I am a gestational carrier.  This means that none of my biological makeup is used.  I carrier an embryo for someone else.  My eggs are not involved in the process.  Yes this means I could go to the hospital in labor and freak all the nurses out by having a black or asian child.  I think that would be awesome!  They would be looking at my DH going WTH!!!!  Anyways... the other type of surrogate is a traditional surrogate.  This type of surrogate uses her own eggs and gets artificially inseminated with someone else's semen.  It is less common as it is risky legally for both sides.  I personally couldn't be a traditional surrogate because I really would feel like I was giving away my own child.
The routes us surros can take can be through an agency or independent.  I researched all options and see pros and cons with both.  For my first journey I have decided to go indy.  Both parties have their own attorneys and we work things out amongst ourselves.  In my opinion it is a lot more personable.
So how does matching work?
Many people go through an agency to get matched but with an indy journey the matching process is a little harder.  I talked with many couples and IPs (Intended Parents) in surrogacy forums online before matching with the perfect couple.  For all purposes of this blog my IPs will remain anonymous.  We met and all four of us connected.  (them and Mike and I)
After matching we had to get through screening.  It was a tedious process of gathering medical records, going out of state for blood work and an ultrasound, psych evaluations, MMPI test for me, testing for DH, etc... I ended up having to go through surgery because a polyp was found during my saline sonogram.  That was about a month ago.  We are finally all through with screening!  The next step was our contracts.  It wasn't really that bad but we all had to make sure we were all protected.  We started BCPs (birth control pills) and then Lupron.  Both are to stop me from ovulating.  As of yesterday after my baseline ultrasound and blood work I started actually med cycling!  This involved a lower dosage of Lupron,  (which is a shot in my leg) Estradial valerate (a really big shot) and baby aspirin.  I go for blood work next week to make sure the estrogen levels are where they need to be.  I will be going to my clinic on the 19th for an ultrasound that will determine when the embryos need to be pulled for thaw.  Transfer will probably be at the end of the month.  We did a mock transfer at one of my screening appointments.  It involves pushing this catheter looking thing through my uterine wall.  Honestly it didn't really hurt.  It was just uncomfortable like a pap smear.
So far I am feeling okay.  I am a little moodier due to the estrogen, but I feel okay.  My husband has to give me all my shots because I just can't look at the needle.  I think he thinks it is funny to shoot me up.  LOL!
I will try to keep this blog updated on my journey.  I am hoping the first time will be a success!