Friday, July 8, 2011


Today I had to work all day.  It was a looooooonnnnnnnngggggg day, but I like my job.  Just recently I reduced my hours from full time to part time.  I also transfered from one branch to another.  This has allowed me to be home more with my children, and I think will work well for going through this surrogacy journey.  I'm the type of person who can't not work or being doing something to further challenge myself.  I recently just completed my bachelor's degree and am itching because I feel like I am forgetting to do something for school!  I'm 27 and have never not been in school until now!  I will be starting my Master's degree program in Sept. but for now I feel a little lost. Like do I just go to work and come home and have absolutely nothing to do for school????  It is weird to me. 
I feel empowered by taking the journey into surrogacy.  The IPs I am working with are such wonderful people. They have battled infertility for a long time and are a truely amazing couple.  I can't wait to help them make their dreams come true!  There really is no greater feeling in the world then holding your child for the first time.  I remember when Grayson was born.  Mike and i were so young and so nervous.  He came out and the nurses took him across the room to be cleaned off and suctioned.  Mike followed so I was a little calmer, but all I wanted was to see this thing that I had carried for nine months... this thing that was supposed to change my life forever.  Mike got to pick Grayson up first.  He brought Grayson over to me, all bundled up, and I finally got to hold my firstborn.  Holding him, and looking at his big eyes, I realized what unconditional love was.  I mean there isn't anything in this world I wouldn't do for my children.  In that moment I thought to myself this child will never cross the street alone, he'll never drive a car by himself, I will never let him out of my sight!!!  My love was just so intense.  I didn't want anything to happen to him.  As we approach Grayson's 7th birthday, and have two other children, I am a little less overprotective.   (Grayson still tells me to leave him alone)  I guess my whole point on the matter is, I want to give someone else this experience.  I want them to have this over consuming love, and I can't wait to make it happen for them.

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